12 Things a Discreet Dude should learn to do..

A DD should be able to…

1. Give advice that matters. In one sentence.


When I was in my teenage years, the world for me was a huge playground. In other words, all that mattered for me was how fun I could make my day without thinking of the consequences. There was plenty of unprotected sex, dating, smoked pot, going out with the wrong people, etc. Then one day, one of my friends called me up and asked help because his penis was secreting puss. That was a shocker to me. I told him to check with the pharmacy attendants since they might be able to help. In a few weeks, I checked with him again and he said it was better. But he had to endure a couple of weeks of not being able to piss without the excruciating pain. He then confessed that he had unprotected sex with a prostitute, but did it anyway since he was really horny. He was lucky he didn’t get hepatitis. Or worse, Aids. He then told me about how much he regrets not using a condom, and how much he now considers it as an essential part of his sex life. His last line for me was, “Better safe than sorry”. Best advice I ever got. One sentence.


2. Ask for help


Guys who refuse to seek help are the biggest douche bags on earth.


3. Learn how to say NO.



4. Buy a suit / Barong and never wear jeans on formal occasions.





The typical Filipino guy does not own a formal suit. That would be excusable if you are stuck in the Philippines and you own a barong. But are you seriously going to wear jeans on formal occasions? And you will not be able to get away with it just because you are wearing a buttoned shirt! Learn how to dress smart for formal occasions. Jeans, no matter how dark they are, should never be worn on weddings or any formal parties. Buy a pair of trousers for this purpose. It will not only make you look good and presentable, but the hosts who invited you will appreciate it.


5. Name a good book


Twilight doesn’t count.




6. Be loyal to at least one product



It tells a lot about who you are and the things you believe in. I like vodka over beer any day. I like Red Horse than San Miguel Pilsen. I like Nivia products for men than Neutrogena. Be sure to keep it real and be consistent.








7. Tell a joke



Here’s one: “When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.



The Russians used a pencil.”





8. Know what to do with wounds



Stop the bleeding by applying pressure using a gauze pad or a clean cloth. If you can’t stop the bleeding, just get to a hospital. Once the bleeding stops, check for signs of infection then clean it with soap and water. Dress the wound. Never ever cry.






9. Tell if someone is lying



Everyone has his technique in catching a liar. Not all of them work.


My favorites: Liars change the subject almost instantaneously. Liars look up and to their right when they speak. Liars will sometimes stare dead straight into your eyes and employ a dead face. Pick one, test it.



10. Swim


- You’re Filipino and you don’t know how to freestyle? Or even the frog swim?

11. Throw a punch

Knowing how to throw a good punch when the situation calls for it wouldn’t blemish your reputation. Rule of thumb: Swing with your shoulders, not your arm. If you can strike hard using the heel of your palm, go with it. It serves the same purpose.

12. Drive a car.

- Learn how to drive. A 40-year old man who doesn’t drive is kind’a creepy.

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