Break-ups

A breakup is definitely not one of the easiest things in the world. You have to go through loneliness, quickly skip love songs playing on your Ipod, watch TV by yourself, go shopping by yourself, cook by yourself, smoke alone and eat alone.

Eating alone is a struggle for me. Eating with my ex was one of the most pleasurable things on earth. We did not run out of things to talk about and we both shared the fondness to Thai and spicy food.

But after a few days from my breakup, I met Michael. No, we are not a couple yet. He is more like a companion for the sad days that I’m trying to go through. He works for an airline company, and has plenty of time in his hands. He is very generous too, made sure that I got a teddy bear and a rose during valentines (didn’t like being treated like a girl but I managed to quickly sneak the bear and the rose inside my room without anyone noticing) and took me out to a very romantic dinner last February 15.

Now the dinner was the most embarrassing part. I didn’t know that he pre-arranged a table in a restaurant the night before valentines. He told the restaurant manager that he didn’t want us to go through the buffet table and wants the food taken to us on a serving plate. He also requested that we be seated away from the rest of the customers, flowers, a candle and a heart shaped cake for dessert. It was everything a girl could ask for. If only I was a girl. And if only it wasn’t embarrassing since the waiter kept staring at us in a funny way. We just kept talking, and I constantly berated how shock I am and uncomfortable every time the waiter comes back. I would blurt out “What the fuck!? this feels like a date?!” Michael would just smile like he didn’t care what other people thought of it.

He is very flattering. He literally begged that I start saying I love you back to him and says that I am everything that he could ask for. But seriously, I DO NOT WANT TO BE IN ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP FOR THE NEXT TWO DECADES OF MY LIFE.

But of course that is only an exaggeration. According to a movie I watched recently, there should be a three-month interval before you engage in another relationship after a breakup. I plan to follow that. Maybe it has got its psychological reasons why this timeframe was invented.

So I think Michael will play a big part in my recovery back to singlehood. I’m also seeing another guy right now, but he is in another relationship and just wants hang out and kiss. Hell, I’m okay with that. But he’s recently been giving me the “I miss you”s and “I wish I was with you instead”’s during our phone conversations. I’m kind’ a thrilled since he is really the type of guy you want to bring home to your parents, but at the same time, I don’t want him to think that I’ll go through in a relationship with him if and when he gets rid of his boyfriend.

Oh fuck it. I’m just enjoying my life right now.

So much has been happening, and things have been going well I don’t want to ruin it.

A breakup is definitely not one of the easiest things in the world. But then again, I met all these wonderful people and I feel like I’ve succeeded in my plan of trying out the different chocolates in the box, before I finally close it.